


Penumbra

by followscrows (falsche)



Series: Incandescence [3]
Category: ATEEZ (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Established Relationship, Gods, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, possessive behavior...kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:33:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22094164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsche/pseuds/followscrows
Summary: There is hunger and violence in San…
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Series: Incandescence [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565017
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	Penumbra

There are times that San longs for simpler days. He's relatively young compared to some other deities, but he's old enough to be aware of how different everything is starting to appear. This new world is constantly changing, mortals and Gods alike are forced to adapt. The younger Gods are surviving, some are even thriving. The old Gods however are inherently different, their power lies in the wildness of the old days and as the world seems to stray further from that, a lot of those same deities are also disappearing. Death comes easier to a God that surrenders willingly and maybe to some that's a merciful consolation compared to other options. 

Nevertheless that doesn't change the fact that Gods in general are becoming rare these days even those as young as San. Their numbers are dwindling rapidly and the few that there are, are often fighting one another. Power is tempting and the purest power can be taken when one kills a God. While mortals can be selfish, Gods are plain ruthless and greedy. The act itself is cruel and a lot of times heartless, but it's a nature that most deities can't ignore. It's like a constant alluring dark melody that most Gods are aware of. 

San as the God of Life and Death has always been conscious of this call. He knows how the spark of life tastes like and he savors how the sweet flavor of death settles on his tongue. There's something almost painfully beautiful about the last breath and the echo of the fading beating of a dying heart. It's these feelings that he frequently ends up pouring into canvas after canvas that captivate the mortal eyes. His art is often a topic of deep discussion between artists. Some find it too raw, confrontational even and there are those that are in love with the frailty of mortality. The God breathes these emotions, he pours them all out like a cut that bleeds profusely. 

The duality that rests at the core of his being though is sometimes too dangerous. The thing about life and death is that both can quickly go from one extreme to the other. At times they contrast heavily with one another, while reflecting each other like a mirror at other times. Life can be both delicate and ferocious, while death can be freeing , but also violent. San knows all these opposing elements very well, has seen them all through the years, has felt them burrow deeply in every cell of his being. It's what feeds the rawness inside him, the untamed part that only old Gods are thought to possess. 

It's the reason why Yeosang finds him dangerous and San doesn't blame him, because he is. He fears what he's capable, because he knows what he can do and Wooyoung often makes it more tempting. The Moon God is different from the other deities that San has met before and the pull between them makes San ache in so many ways. Some cravings are darker than others. For Wooyoung is like the equilibrium between his powers. When the moon is full, it's brimming with life bright and imposing while the moonless night is a reflection of death and eternal slumber.

Submissiveness.

Docility.

And yet there's also defiance...

It makes San want to claim the Moon God in every way possible. It's a possessive sort of desire; it both frightens and excites him in ways that he's never felt before. Still there's more than just these feelings when it comes to the younger God and it makes him wonder if his existence wouldn’t be easier if he was still on his own like in the past. Even when the thought crosses his mind though, he knows he can never go back to that way of life not when the others have managed to weave themselves so intricately in his life, especially Wooyoung. It's peculiar how easy it had been to let them all in, how effortless it was to feel like a family and how simple falling in love with Wooyoung was. 

Yes, he knows he loves Wooyoung. He has loved him since they first time they've crossed paths. Some would call him a fool for believing it was love at first sight, but San has never regretted being a fool for the Moon God. It's the latter that makes him fear what he can do to the other, because when he peels away all of those layers that encompass everything that he feels, every desire and need, in the end Wooyoung is far more important and precious than all those sentiments no matter how strong they are. He cares too deeply about the younger God, to the point that San is willing to distance himself completely if it means that he won't hurt the other again. 

The thought makes him swallow hard, before he pushes open the door to his apartment. It's one of the places that he owes in the city. Like Seonghwa, San has a tendency to collect real estate. While it's uncommon for San to be alone these days, there are times however that he needs to get away, like now for example. It has been a few days since he had been in contact with any of the others. The only who he had replied to had been Yunho. Besides Wooyoung, The God of dreams is the one who San is closest to and he's also the one who knows how San is struggling. Yunho on some level understands what San is going through, but deep down the God of death knows that Yunho has his own issues to deal with. That doesn't stop the older God from being there for him, with comforting words and calming touches when he needs it and craves it. 

Yunho's last message had been such an offer, but for once San had turned him down. He needs solitude right now, space to gather his thoughts and sort out his feelings. It's a selfish move, knowing in what state he had left Wooyoung, but maybe he's just afraid of what the consequences might have been if he'd stayed. For now Wooyoung's messages and phone calls were ignored. San knows it's an asshole move but he's trying to do what is best for the other. 

He's so deep in thought that he doesn't even realize the presence in the room. It's only as he closes the door behind him that he meets the pair of eyes at the center of the room. Every muscle in his body tenses and while he's not a coward, San feels like bolting out of the room as soon as he realizes that he's not alone. Wooyoung is quietly sitting there, comfortably leaning back in San's favorite couch, surrounded by the darkness that envelops the room. San once again briefly contemplates leaving, but ignores that thought as soon as Wooyoung speaks. 

“You weren’t picking up my phone calls,” Wooyoung says softly, there’s a hint of hurt heard but it’s clear to San that the Moon God is trying to conceal it as much as he can. It tugs at those fragile moonlight colored strings that are tightly wrapped around the God of Death’s heart.

“I had to go away, clear my head after…” he swallows hard, not meeting the other’s eyes, but even so he feels the way the moon God’s gaze settles on him, heavy, contemplative and San knows that Wooyoung is trying to decipher him, pick him apart and try to bare those thoughts and feelings that he’s always covered up behind his own personal armor.

What scares San even more however is how adapt Wooyoung is at finding the smallest crack in his armor and using it to his advantage. His lover is by no means cruel, but Wooyoung is cunning when it comes to emotions. The younger God tends to react like mortal to feelings, he allows himself to experience them to their fullest, while San is more cautious in that aspect. San is by no means oblivious to his own feelings, but he often tries to curb them as best as he can, only allowing himself to indulge in what he considers safe.

Wooyoung however doesn't shy away from any of his sentiments, no matter how volatile, painful they can be. The younger God is therefore braver and bolder, more so than San can ever hope to be and Wooyoung never regrets his actions. 

“You’re running away,” the Moon God points out softly, making San look at him. His eyes unconsciously move to his neck, where a bruise is clearly visible. San knows that the blue and purple color don’t stop at his neck but go further down against his right shoulder, bruises that look like finger marks. 

His hands, his fingers, his power...

The God swallows hard as he unconsciously steps back, but there's really no place to go when his back touches the door behind him. He's not sure what it is about Wooyoung that awakens these urges in him, but it’s not the first time. It always starts the same. It begins like an echo of a thousand voices that quickly encompass his mind like war drums. His control slips and he tastes the blood in his mouth even before he feels himself slip into the thousand of feelings that suddenly engulf him.

It's quick and violent. No control. 

Yet Wooyoung’s presence is always the anchor and the beacon. The line of prey and enemy blur into one and San hungers then. For Wooyoung is bursting with so much life and as the God of death he craves it, craves to sink his teeth into him like a hungry wolf. 

“San, you keep running away from me…” Wooyoung interrupts his thoughts, voice still soft and composed even when now there’s a hint of determination also heard and that little change sends alarm bells off in the older God’s mind. He's reminded that the other is a deity just like him and just like him the other is far from weak. He's mighty when he needs to be and far more unyielding in his desires and wishes. Wooyoung doesn't back down easily and San knows that whatever reasons he's willing to give the smaller male, they will not be enough. So instead he settles on being almost petulant and childish. 

“I’m not,” he answers without a thought, the words sounding hollow to his ears. He’s once again looking away from the Moon God. He only shifts his gaze when Wooyoung stands up and moves towards him. It takes everything for him to stay where he is and he knows that the other deity knows this too. 

“Liar,” Wooyoung tells him, eyes narrowed dangerously, voice now edged in something that San recognizes as Wooyoung's stubborn streak. 

He knows his deserves the attitude. They’ve always said that there wouldn’t be any secrets between them, but here he is doing the opposite. Wooyoung is in front of him now and San feels himself unconsciously wanting to gravitate towards the other. He flinches when Wooyoung reaches for him, grasping his hands in his, running his fingers against his knuckles. The touch makes something in him tighten painfully. Guilt and something uglier tugs inside him. 

“It’s okay,” the smaller male whispers softly, not a hint of fear heard as he leans closer and San wills himself to be stronger to pull away, but it never happens. 

He does the opposite. It's hard not to fall into the moon’s god embrace, especially when he can feel that familiar tug of power and familiarity. The pull between them is visceral, almost painful and San needs this pain, craves it. He makes a soft noise, feeling the way Wooyoung cards his fingers through his hair and every little fiber of his being feels suddenly at home. He murmurs apologies against the moon God’s neck, soft and pleading for forgiveness that will always been given even when he doesn’t think he deserves it. 

He wishes he was better though, stronger than whatever old power that lingers in him. He hates this part of him that wants Wooyoung in the most possessive way possible. It’s dark and hungry, ravenous and always under the surface waiting patiently and it takes so little to ignite it and to draw it out.

Soft lips press against his forehead and San can’t stop himself when he moves and kisses Wooyoung on the lips. It’s supposed to be a brush of lips, but instead hunger and desperation rush out of him. He’s not even sure what he wants or needs, can’t put them into words. Words however have never really been necessary between the two of them, not when he feels every little nerve of his being being pulled towards the other God. Wooyoung feels like a fountain of life energy to him, vibrant and overflowing and as the God who rules over life and death, San feels himself drawn to it like a moth to a flame. He knows he’ll burn, is already burning each time he allows himself to cave in and to crave so much and too fast. 

Wooyoung makes a soft noise when he turns them and pushes him against the door. The bruises on Wooyoung’s neck and shoulder are suddenly more visible with his shirt slipping down against his shoulder, baring more skin and San feels that pain increase in his chest, pressure building to the point that he almost can’t breathe. Underneath that feeling though, there’s a whisper of something darker contrasting heavily with everything else. The need and the hunger to produce more of those marks, to feel the breath stutter in the moon God’s lungs sends heat down his spine. 

He swallows hard and closes his eyes, trying to banish every little thought but Wooyoung brings him once again out of his thoughts, a cool hand touching his face. It’s gentle, but it’s grounding. Opening his eyes, he stares at the other and it’s not the first time that San feels fragile and breakable under that gaze. He kind of wishes that there was fear in Wooyoung's eyes, but instead he's met with something warm and comforting. 

“I’ll heal, they’re not permanent,” he cocks his head, baring more of his neck to San’s gaze and suddenly he wants nothing more than to sink his teeth into that pale skin.

“I wish they were permanent," he answers without thinking. 

An unreadable look washes over Wooyoung’s face and before San can ask what it is, he finds himself forcefully pushed down on the ground with the moon God straddling his waist. Wooyoung pins his hands above his head. The change is quick and sudden. San swears that it's like the dark side of the moon flickers to life and Wooyoung seems almost unfamiliar to him with how he looks down at him. All sharp edges, power and control can be felt even in the fingertips that are pressing into San’s captured wrists. 

“We all have darkness in us, San. It becomes dangerous when we’re afraid of it...or when we deny it. ” Wooyoung's voice is barely a whisper, the tone rolls down San’s spine like whispered secrets. It’s far more intimate than the God of Death would have expected at that moment and yet there’s something also alluring with how Wooyoung is the one with the upper-hand now. Something must have shown on his face, because Wooyoung is smiling now, indulgently but also strangely predatory. 

"Do you really think I can't stop you, San? I'm far from weak, because I'm willing to bet everything on us. Do not underestimate my will...or my power. I'm still a God, a selfish one at that. I'm not afraid of taking what I want." He pauses, his eyes shifting to San's lips before meeting his eyes again. 

“And I’ve never been afraid of you or that darkness.” Wooyoung leans closer, pale hair falling in his face and San can’t help but once again realize how beautiful the other is. He releases San’s wrists, only for them to come and rest against the dark haired God’s clothed chest. A dark crescent moon flickers faintly to life on Wooyoung's forehead and San feels his heart jump in his throat. There should be fear as the old power manifests itself in Wooyoung, but instead desire and excitement rush through his bloodstream like a drug. Wooyoung's lips curve in a small smirk and San knows that Wooyoung can taste his lust, feel his body's reaction with the way his hips roll against his, making his control waver and push apart by the gravitational pull that is Wooyoung. 

“I won’t tame that darkness in you,” he whispers again, while he rips open the button-up shirt that San is wearing. The buttons scatter around them but San doesn’t care. Not when he’s hyper aware of Wooyoung, everywhere that the other touches him burns. He’s suddenly reminded that Wooyoung’s domain lies in the night and not even the moon is afraid of the intimidating darkness that surrounds it. 

The determined glint in the moon God’s eyes is sharp like a blade, piercing through the dark haired God. The younger God grins at him, sharp teeth visible and San wonders when he became prey...but he's willing prey and his senses are suddenly filled with Wooyoung. He holds his breath when the younger God leans over him, lips only inches away from him. 

When Wooyoung speaks again, his voices is barely a whisper. “I can sate it however…”

There's a clear challenge heard in those words, like smoke it fills the air around them and San knows that Wooyoung is waiting for him to decide their next step. The Moon God has never been patient but for him he forces himself to be. They're so close, both of them have stilled and only the sound of their combined breaths and heartbeats fills the room. 

San’s lips part ready to object, but Wooyoung silences him with a deep kiss that leaves him breathless and aching. As he pulls away San notes how much brighter Wooyoung’s eyes seem at the moment, like liquid moonlight they stare back at him. 

“Don’t be afraid...because I’m not. You might be the God of life and death, but you forget that neither life or death touches the moon who sees the beginning and the end of so many.” 

There’s a deeper meaning to Wooyoung’s words, San is sure of it but he knows that the moon God will not share the true meaning for now. Instead he allows himself the offered challenge, because he knows that it’s not an offer on the younger God’s part, no instead he’s daring San to take what he wants and San wants so much. 

He flips them, pushing Wooyoung on the floor none too gently, but instead of complaining, the smaller male matches his actions. His fingers wrap in the hair at the back of San’s head and he pulls him down roughly, earning a pained hiss that is quickly swallowed by his mouth. There’s no gentleness in their movements, no whispered words of comfort and love, instead there’s urgency and hunger.

The pull is right there again, the energy between them is more than just their powers. It’s almost violent in the way, they both surrender to it. San is all imposing darkness, but Wooyoung isn’t scared or overwhelmed, he welcomes it and revels in it. He’s true to his words, breaking the kiss and sinking his teeth into San’s shoulder. San hisses pushing the smaller God down on the floor who only smirks at him smugly. 

His eyes move to San’s shoulder, the red mark already visible and the look on his face is both satisfied and pleased at the same time. It’s enough to have San narrow his eyes as he cages the other against the floor. 

“I’ll mark that pretty skin of yours all over, Wooyoungie,” he purrs and he can practically see the effect it has on the other. Satisfaction settles in the pit of his stomach as urgency slips once again into Wooyoung’s movements. The Moon God’s mouth is urgent and demanding as he meets San’s. Thoughts are quick to scatter, both just surrendering themselves completely. There’s no fear and no lies between them. 

It’s liberating. 

He knows that there will be gentleness some other time, but right now they’re both too desperate to be gentle or to be patient. Some other time they will try and explain this pull, but for now San doesn’t think and only allows himself to flow freely towards everything that Wooyoung is. Every touch, every kiss, every sound, there will be so many marks later but this time San has a feeling that Wooyoung will be returning all of them and he looks forward to having Wooyoung’s claim on his skin, like dark ink on a white piece of paper. 

Both the light and the darkness...

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be much shorter...


End file.
